LOVE IS AN ACTION WORD

Love is an action word demonstrating affection and care for another through best behavior. It is never demanding, abusive, conditional. People often call it love when they are really trying to control others. "If you love me you_______________________."

The Bible says that love is God (I John 8:16). Love is patient, kind, not envious, desires nothing in return, comes from humility, acts gently, is not self-seeking but other-directed, is not easily provoked, gives benefit of doubt, is just, and full of grace; it stirs no defensive behavior, is trusting and trustworthy, and stands every testing. Love never fails in its efforts (I Corinthians 13:4-8).

You may not believe in God, or the Bible as the Word of God, but not many would argue with these definitions as a good starting point for putting love into action.

Adults must come to believe that they are the problem in their troubled relationships, and that they have the power to change the dynamics of their relationships. If one person will take responsibility for his or her own behavior, learn and practice healthier ways on their part, their relationships will change. One person acting lovingly as described above will invite appropriate responses and cooperation. Otherwise, expect defensive reaction, which is what problematic relationships are about.