BOUNDARIES

Someone brought up the subject of "boundaries" the other day. I typed basic personal rights and boundaries on my google search engine and several worthwhile sites came up. Following are my thoughts on the subject.

*I have the right to be.

*When I respect myself, others respect me without my saying a word.

*When I honor the boundaries others set, they will find it easier to honor mine.

*Boundaries do not have to be rigid. I can let you come closer when we have built trust over time.

*I can ask for what I want. I can say how your words or behavior make me feel, though I am powerless over your choices, and responsible for my feelings.

Everyone would like to have the ability to express their thoughts, beliefs, ideas, and desires without fear of the response. Isn't it true that if the response or reaction to what you put out there didn't matter, you wouldn't be afraid to speak up, to be honest? Well, guess what. It really doesn't matter.

Try this experiment: Stick with "I" statements only and make a statement to someone about what you think, believe, feel, or would like. Be prepared, because no matter how the other person responds, you are going to act as if whatever he/she says or does is fine with you. You are not going to be caught off-guard, because whether the reply is kind and considerate -- whether you are ignored -- or there is an angry reaction: it is just fine with you. You can expect it, whatever "it" is.

To end the experiment, smile broadly, but say no more.