The heart doesn't seem to say, "Oh, you're just like me, I love you!" More often, at least among my friends and acquaintances, love begins with an unreasonable chemistry. Thus, most of the women and men I know have had several shots at love, never lasting. If a couple manages to beat the odds, stay together, and still love each other, it's often because one has more forbearance.
Happy couples reverence their differences. Neither has to change to make the relationship work. Compromise and consideration for the preferences of each other, yes, but not required. We can ask for what we want, I often say, but celebrate the "No's". We are who are. This is the one you love!!! THINK about it.
Tara says, "No effing way am I going to clean up after her! I'd build a resentment."
Loving without price means we live with the annoying differences. In fact, Dr. Greg Baer puts it this way: "You can live with it and hate it, or you can live with it and love it, or you can leave." It was so sad when Tara and Terri broke up before. They came back together with a resolve to make it work. "You can actually clean up after her for the rest of your life without any resentment," I tell Tara. "If you love her enough."
I do what I want to do. If I have enough time and energy to do Al's share (just a word; don't read too much into it), I may do what he doesn't like to do that I like done. It's my choice, so there is no resentment. If I don't do it, and things get into a state I'm not comfortable with, I practice the spiritual principle of acceptance. Things are exactly the way they are supposed to be right now in this moment; nothing has to change. By the way, have I mentioned how much Al does for me?
Resentment would be self-indulgent. Whoever wants it done the most does it. Unless the one who knows how free he/she is, and occasionally does that thing! Unconditional love is occasionally sacrificial. ; - D
